This is the page of elfpvke's (new) server.

Actually, I guess I don't really want random people knowing about me after all. Sorry.
However, I did write an Essential Info page (work in progress).

Gems from the fortune file

I moved to the cloud in 2015. It's faster than a box built in 2001 and it's cheaper than what I pay for a power bill. However, the cloud I moved to is a shit-smelling cloud held together with chewing gum. Avoid like the plague. Caveat emptor!

Some site stats:

Linux 2.6.32-042stab117.16 (Ubuntu 15.04, formerly Fedora FC11) was first built as a Windows 2000 box in early December, 2001. Since then, almost everything has been replaced. (Including Windows 2000, thankfully.) first went live 3895 days ago, on February 27, 2006 (Those were the days....)

Uptime: 12:38:11 up 9 days, 19:30, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.01, 0.05

As of Sat Jan 03 13:40:14 EST 2015: Total Uptime since June 4, 2010 (when I moved): 97.43 percent.

Legal Stuff

This site would like to remind you that we may use different statements that could be construed as being forward-looking information. In general, any statement that does not constitute a historical fact may be deemed a forward- looking statement. Expressions such as 'expect', 'intend', 'are confident that', 'will', and other similar expressions are generally indicative of forward- looking statements.

These forward-looking statements are based upon certain assumptions such as my availability, what I would rather be doing, and how much I like you. These forward-looking statements do not provide any guarantees as to my future performance and are subject to potential risks, known and unknown, as well as uncertainties that could cause the outcome to differ significantly.

A description of the risks, which could have an impact on these statements, can be found under the Risks setion at

We would like to remind you that will never threaten to stab you, and, in fact, cannot speak.

That said, do not taunt .

As part of our required protocols, the previous statements were complete fabrications. We will stop enhancing the truth in three...two...*BZZT*.